I'm planning on blogging more. No, honestly. It's going to be a weekly thing. Mostly because soon I'll have nothing better to do, and because I need to start writing regularly again. Anyway...
If I've gained anything at all by being a substitute teacher these past few months, besides of course a permanent migraine and a sour view of the future generation, I've gained stories. A bag-o-stories, in fact. Here's one. I'll add a few more soon.
I was subbing a day in second grade, the day after Martin Luther King day. The teacher had in her lesson plan "explain the difference between fact and opinion, use MLK," so I flipped on the old overhead projector, uncapped a marker, and prepared for the popular "blank stare" response to my lecture. After writing "Fact" on one side of the overhead, and "Opinion" on the other, I asked the class to give me some examples of each about Martin Luther King.
I called first on a boy to my right who chimed, "He was black!"
"OK," I responded, "Is that fact or opinion?"
"Fact."
"Good. How about an opinion?"
I called on a girl to my left.
"He was the greatest man in the world, ever!" she proclaimed.
"Alright. Who else?"
Another girl, jumping up and down in her seat, looked as if she was going to explode, so I called on her next.
"He died on the toilet!" she yelled.
I paused.
"Umm...I don't know about that..." I mumbled.
"He didn't die on the toilet?" she interrupted.
I didn't know what to say.
"Uh...let's move on to the next lesson." I flipped off the overhead and chuckled to myself.
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