Five Reasons LeBron Should Bolt for New York

Even though I was born and raised in Ohio, I've never been a huge Cavs fan. Even before I moved to Chicago, I've been a Bulls diehard. I grew up tuning in to WGN to see Michael, Scottie, and the gang, and fell in love with that franchise. And in later years, I earned my Bulls fanhood by rooting for them after those great teams were split up (even during those ugly Tim Floyd seasons). So it hurts me a little to root for LeBron James, a hometown superstar, to sign with another team, and abandon the only good pro team we have in Ohio. Let alone for the Knicks, one of the Bulls' biggest rivals in the early and mid 90s. But what's best for LeBron is that he take the money and run...to New York in 2010...to play for the Knicks. Here are five reasons why:

1. Money ("Straight Cash Homey"):
Forget about the max contract. That's peanuts. LeBron has made it no secret that he wants to be the first billionaire athlete. If anyone has the talent, charisma, and business savvy, it's King James. New York is the unofficial capital of the world and will boost LBJ's visibility for endorsements, his own clothing line (ala MJ), music label, or whatever else he wanted to launch. Can't you see a billboard the size of the Statue of Liberty in Times Square that reads "We are Witnesses"? Better yet, maybe they just replace the old iron lady with a Statue of LeBron...with a swoosh logo prominently displayed, of course. I'm of the opinion that if LeBron is to be bigger than Tiger and MJ, he has to take the next step, and New York will give him that pedestal. Plus, Nike kicks in a bonus to all its endorsers who play in major markets (NY, LA, Chicago).

2. Championships:
In 2010, the Knicks will have only a few players under contract (unless they chose to extend David Lee and Nate Robinson) and will be likely be the team with the most cap flexibility. That should allow them to sign James and another big name from an outlandishly deep free agent class, like Chris Bosh, Amare Stoudamire, or Dwayne Wade. And since they have Mike D'Antoni on the sidelines running his trademark "seven seconds or less" offense, they might be able to nab two-time MVP Steve Nash at a veterans minimum contract. A lineup with a 26-year-old James, a young Chris Bosh, a Stockton-like Nash running the offense that made him an MVP (who would likely still be in excellent shape at 36), and a handful of shooters and role players would make the Knicks instant title/dynasty contenders.

3. The League/The Franchise:
With LeBron in the Big Apple, Kobe and the Lakers forming a new dynasty in L.A., and if Chicago is able to nab hometown hero, Dwayne Wade, three of the leagues storied franchises in the three biggest U.S. markets will be back at the top. Not that the league is hurting right now--the NBA, with an influx of young, likable superstars in the last few years, is thriving. But revitalizing a New York market so hungry for a winning team would cause a spark that could help the NBA to gain some ground on the NFL (which is absolutely owning the American sports-watching male right now). And speaking of the New York market, even though New Yorkers have the reputation as jerks with no manners, and even though they were spoiled in the with the success of the Yankees, and even though they won a Super Bowl last year and are on track to repeat with the Giants, the city has always been a basketball town. And no city, not even New York, deserves to have a beloved franchise like the Knicks run into the ground by an incompetent idiot like Isaiah Thomas. The Thomas era was painful to watch as an outsider (even though it provided a lot of humor), but I can't imagine what it was like as a Knicks fan. It's amazing that Spike Lee didn't kill himself. It's even more amazing that he still attended games.

4. The City:
Every King needs his throne. What greater throne than Madison Square Garden, the world's capital of basketball, the world's most famous arena? And what better city than the "Greatest City on Earth" to display the "Greatest Show on Earth"? Only New York could make above average talent like Derek Jeter, Eli Manning, and Joe Namath into monster superstars. Just imagine what it'll do when it gets ahold of someone of LBJ's eliteness.

5. Destiny:
A small math equation that explains this better: Peanut Butter + Jelly = The Chosen One + New York. Simply put, he will be bigger than Kobe. Bigger than Tiger. Bigger than Jordan.

Look for 23 in orange and blue in 2010.

A Three-Year-Old Teaching Preschool?

Below is an actual submission for the bulletin at Harvest Bible Chapel. I see a lot of grammatical errors, misspelled words, and awkward sentence structures, doing my job (editing for pastors), but this one is too good.

Employment Opportunity at Rolling Meadows Campus
Three-year-old preschool teacher needed to serve on Rolling Meadows campus for the spring 2009 semester. Class is held on Monday and Tuesday mornings from 9:00–11:30 A.M. Interested candidates need to visit the school website for more details

What's in a Meme? Mine: the WWF and Soy Lattes

Mike Cline, childhood friend, college roommate, and part-time adviser in all things theology and wedding planning, has tagged me for a meme.

I usually avoid these kinds of things, but I’m bored at work and don’t really have anything more important to do. So, even though I don’t know anyone else with an active blog besides Mike and Kyle Scott (who Mike has already tagged), I’ll give it a go for sheer self-entertainment.

Rules To The Meme:
1. Link to the person who tagged you (check, see above).

2. Post these rules on your blog.

3. Write six random things about yourself (see below).

4. Tag six people at the end of your post and link to them (this isn’t going to happen).

5. Let each person know they've been tagged and leave a comment on their blog (see above).

6. Let the tagger know when your entry has been posted.

Random Things:
1. Since starting at Starbucks I’ve been required to sample many of their signature drinks. And, as is my M.O. (I went through a several-month stint when I drank Coke with Lime obsessively), I have become addicted to one drink in particular: a Venti, 4-pump, Iced Soy Chai Latte with 2 pumps Raspberry, 1 pump Vanilla, stirred, and light ice. Try it out sometime.

2. I finally realized I was old and uncool when I went into my local Urban Outfitters and couldn’t find an article of clothing I could either pull off or want to. I’ve turned into a Gap and J. Crew guy, and I go to bed a 10:30, so my days of being young and cool have ended at 24.

3. Another recent obsession: old clips on YouTube. I know it’s a cliche for my generation--looking up funny clips of weathermen cursing on live TV and similar distractions-- but my visits to the site are a little different. I spend hours looking up Bob Dylan interviews from the ‘60s, Martin and Lewis comedy acts, and Don Rickles roast performances from the ‘70s. I can’t get enough of that old stuff.

4. My freshman year of college, I was in the car with Mike Cline when he received his first speeding ticket. I had told him before that I had never seen a cop on the road we were traveling, and that I frequently drove 80-90 MPH. Later, I was awoken from my nap by a siren and flashing lights.

5. List of movies I saw in theaters this year, that I thought was worth the nine bucks: Michael Clayton, There Will Be , Juno, Get Smart (saw it twice), Iron Man, and Dark Knight. That’s it! I saw others, but they were mostly oversexualized, hyperviolent drivel. It kind of makes me sad that I can only go to the movies and enjoy it only a handful of times a year, now. Hollywood continues to pump out garbage, and America keeps consuming it. I want to vomit when I think that the hottest thing going now is that Judd Apatow, Seth Rogan, 40-Year-Old Virgin, Superbad crew.

6. When I was younger I used to enjoy painting my little Lego men up to look like stars of the WWF and WCW (that’s professional wrestling to those not in-the-know). I would schedule Pay-Per-View events that pitted the wrestlers from one organization against the other, and then would act them out in a ring I made out of a shoe box. Years later, after I had grown out of the pro-wrestling phase (unfortunately, some Americans never do), the WWF bought out the WCW and held some events with the same matchups I used to create. But my outcomes were far superior.

Unfortunately, I have no one to tag. So I guess the buck stops here. It was fun while it lasted.